Articles Tagged: KCC

Motherhood is a long journey made up of ordinary moments, unexpected challenges, and deep joy. In this Mother’s Day series, we’re hearing from Christian women who are reflecting on what it means to raise children while trusting God through every season. In our final interview, we hear from Katie, who spends her days both raising her children and sharing the good news of Jesus with students in local high schools. She reflects on faith, the joys of motherhood, and entering a new season of independence.

1. Tell us a little about yourself! 

I’m married to Andrew and a mum to three teenagers; one is now an adult . We live in the inner west and attend our local church, All Souls Anglican Church in Leichhardt. I go into local High Schools during the week with a team of volunteers to share the good news about Jesus Christ. I basically hang out with teenagers all day long, at work and at home.

I know without a doubt that the big blessings in my life, my friends, my husband, my children, all come from the fountain of Christ and what he did by shedding his blood for me on the cross. And that is a big motivation for me when I go into schools. I don’t want anyone, especially young people, to miss out on the good life found only in Christ (John 10:10).

To take the story back a bit, my way into Christianity was through a friend. I found myself following her footsteps before all the pennies of the gospel dropped. So many decisions she made in life, prioritising a relationship with God, sharing her faith, getting married young, were the opposite of the friends I grew up with at school.

It didn’t occur to me what a good idea motherhood was until I visited her in hospital and held her newborn daughter. I’m very grateful that I got to taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).

2. What does your season of motherhood look like right now?

Right now, I’m in my grandmother’s favourite season. She said her favourite time was when her boys were teenagers. I don’t think I would quite say that! Whilst there are many delightful things about teenagers this is the stage that often breaks you. And maybe God designed it that way for a reason, perhaps we’re supposed to break so something new can grow.

And maybe God designed it that way for a reason, perhaps we’re supposed to break so something new can grow.

Recently my eldest turned 18 and it gave me a chance to reflect. On Facebook I posted, “Kid, we did it! 18 years ago, I was high up in Royal Women’s Hospital – the longest coldest Saturday night of the year, and of my life, waiting to meet my baby girl. I didn’t know she was a girl and I didn’t know when she was coming out… She was 14 days past the due date. I felt like I’d missed a plane. I was so determined to get her out! Andrew went home to sleep. So of course, then it began. In and out of the hot shower by myself all night long. It was freezing and exhausting, but I just went into a zone. When Andrew arrived in the morning, I was soooooo tired!! But by 2pm, we had a beautiful little girl with a mop of soft dark hair. It was amazing.

For our family this was a really hard time. My youngest brother was being treated for Leukaemia at Sydney Kids Hospital and was one of the first to arrive in the room with his IV all hooked up and hold new baby Lucy. The nurses told him, ‘You’re an uncle!’’

You are the only one of my children who had my undivided attention for three whole years of toddlerhood. You are the only one that has suffered through novice mum for all the stages. Babyhood, I had no clue about a routine. Preschool, we always got there late because I didn’t see the point of waking you up early when you were so good at sleeping in. We always made it in time for messy painting though. First day of school: Me crying, you pushing me away, saying, ‘You can go now mum, please.’ Teenager. We all know that was the hardest round for which there are no cheat codes. It is next level and I have never cried so hard. The wildest ride. I wanted to fire myself many times. Thank God for Dad! But now, adulthood. This is cool. You can drive, you serve burgers, you cook and plan and hit the gym. You love your friends and you love your family. As you sometimes say with an eye roll, ‘It’s like I’m a third parent around here!’ What a refreshing change! Do all the things Lucy, we can’t wait to see what you’ll do next. You are a lovely, kind, creative, capable, caring, fun young woman. I’m so glad we’ve made it to 18. Always your mum, but now you make the rules.’

3. What’s one part of being a mum that has surprised you the most?

How much we are not in control. How crazy they can make you. And also, how pleasurable small things are. We are so connected to our children. Someone said you are only as happy as your least happy child. I think that’s very true, if there’s something going on for one of them, you feel it, you feel it all. And you feel a determination to turn over every rock to find a solution. Very often those solutions are found in prayer.

I count the years of being at home with my kids as one of best educations I got to have in the Bible. When we moved to our church there was no ‘young mother’s group’ as our minister described it. I read whole books of the Bible as I fed babies to sleep and prepared studies for our little group. I loved the freedom we had to choose Bible book after Bible book to explore. Over nine years we studied over 40 books of the Bible as well as topical studies and doctrine. Quite an amazing feat for a group of young inner west mums, many of whom hadn’t been to university.

This awoke in me a love of the Bible and how rich it is and led on to a whole world of ministry that I would never have otherwise been prepared for. When I wound up at Moore Theological College, I decided not to be intimidated. I had confidence that I knew these stories, that I’d lived them, through those intense years of mothering. I know God plans every good thing for us to do in advance (Ephesians 2:10). I still am often surprised by what those things turn out to be.

We ran birth kit nights, and women’s church services, we saw friends become Christians. And then one day my minister asked if I would be willing to teach teenagers in the local High Schools and I said yes to that. And now that’s grown to leading a team of volunteers – mums, dads, young professionals, university students, youth ministers – to switch on all the local High Schools in the inner west with excellent SRE classes and lunchtime groups. My favourite class each week is with my best friend, a fellow mum who homeschools her kids but gives up time each week to come in and help.

At an inner west youth event recently, my middle daughter remarked after meeting people in my team, ‘Are you the mother of the team?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, I guess I am.’ She said, ‘That’s a cool thing to be.’

4. What brings you the most joy in this season of motherhood? On the other side, what are some challenges you face? 

Sometimes I sit at dinner and look at my son sitting in profile to me, I’ll stare at his ear and think how perfect it is. What a perfectly formed masculine ear. Or I’ll smell the top of his head. One time my middle daughter saw me do that and smelt the top of her brother’s head and said, ‘Smells like a farmyard.’ It smelt like heaven to me. To be in such closeness to these humans, to receive a cuddle, enjoy their humour, is incredibly special, it’s the definition of family. And when we pull together it’s one of the best feelings.

One of my favourite moments when my daughter turned 18, I said we had choreographed a dance for her. We were having such a lovely time. We had not in fact choreographed a dance, but I felt sure my middle daughter would be up for it and improvise with me and I was not wrong. We turned the music up and it was hilarious. My youngest son looked on in horror, which made it just as funny as I’d hoped. My eldest was delighted. Moments like that are priceless.

I really like the independence of this time. I like how my son goes out on his bike with friends, how my middle daughter surf patrols and my eldest drives all over Sydney. They are each so much more independent now and that’s very freeing. There was a ten year stretch there where I was pregnant or breastfeeding and my whole world was looking after them and often sitting in a red chair holding them and watching them feed. It feels special to be in a new chapter.

I had a tough time with my oldest through the teen years, we fought hard! And I frequently lost. But I fought because I loved her. And COVID lockdowns did not help. What was God teaching me in that time? That his mercies are new each morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23) And that this too shall pass (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

What was God teaching me in that time? That his mercies are new each morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23) And that this too shall pass (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

When one of our kids is away it feels so strange. It feels like something crucial is missing. My eldest is saving to go and study on the other side of the world. This is bittersweet. What will life look like without this fun person right here at the heart of our family?

5. How has your faith shaped the way you parent, especially on hard days?

I pray for my kids every day, often under the covers as I feel the overwhelm of thoughts creep in. My mum has this routine where she prays for each one of her kids (two are on earth and one is in heaven) and their spouses and all the grandkids. She assigns us all different days. There’s twelve people to pray for including my dad, so some have to share days. Two of the grandkids get a whole day to themselves and I love who she picked for those. Perfect choices. She said to me, “Obviously no one is an island so it’s relationship with God and others in the orbit (spouses, children, parents, siblings and yet to be revealed future ones). This is a very good plan, so no one gets forgotten in between the urgent. And even if/when I fail to remember to take the specific time, I always remember at some point because I have the timetable to hold me accountable. I’m much better at remembering to pray specifically for each of my family if I pair it with another habit. I get a good slab of time if going for a walk, but that’s a bit sporadic.”

I think a big part of Christian parenting is being able to apologise and ask for forgiveness. I am a human too. Our philosophy of parenting has been not to make the kids the centre of our universe as God is at the centre of the universe. They are very special and important, but we are the parents and they are the kids. Sometimes my kids have criticised the way we parent. Fair enough, I’m glad they have opinions. We’re doing the best we can, and we entrust our imperfect parenting to the Lord. I also think one of the best things we can do for our kids as parents is to love each other and show that honour and respect for one another in front of our kids. Our relationship is where this whole family came from, so it’s a special priority.

Our philosophy of parenting has been not to make the kids the centre of our universe as God is at the centre of the universe.

6. Has becoming a mum changed the way you understand God as Father?

For sure what endless forgiveness and grace is required. I think the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) is one of the most helpful stories for understanding God’s love for us as children and a parenting masterclass. I’ve stood outside the school gate and retold that story with a fellow mum of teenagers from a different religion who was struggling with her eldest teen. I could relate. She said, ‘What a beautiful story, what incredible wisdom and self-control the father has.’ I explained to her that it comes from the Bible and gives an insight into what God the Father is like. She had never heard it before. I pray she keeps thinking about it and gets to know this Father that loves like no other. To imitate Him is the privilege of every Christian parent.

To imitate Him is the privilege of every Christian parent.

7. What’s something small but meaningful thing that helps you keep going when you feel tired or overwhelmed?

Close the bedroom door. Get in the car and drive to the ocean. Call a friend. Write in a journal. ‘A gentle answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger.’ (Proverbs 15:1) Wisdom for life. I’m still in class 101 for that one.

My dad has always said our children are only ever on loan to us. That encourages me, it doesn’t all depend on me. They don’t belong to me or my husband. They belong to God. It is an extraordinary privilege to get to be part of their lives. To be someone special for them, and they are so special to us. To occupy that special place for a kid, sometimes their happiest place, sometimes not giving them what they want, sometimes disappointing them, sometimes delighting and surprising them. I hope we make our kids proud the way they make us feel proud.

…it doesn’t all depend on me. They don’t belong to me or my husband. They belong to God.

I hope my girls and my boy will know that the most precious thing this world affords is a relationship with their maker. And that everything else is secondary to that. I also hope they will know that it is worth it to fight for things that matter.

I hope my girls and my boy will know that the most precious thing this world affords is a relationship with their maker. And that everything else is secondary to that.

I am very conscious of what an excellent job my own parents did and what a debt of gratitude we owe to them. My children are blessed to have kind and involved grandparents who are so supportive of our family. We would never have made it this far without them.

8. What would you say to a mum who feels like she’s not doing enough? 

We can never do enough. But we do what we can. And we are there. That’s the most important bit. We’re there for them. Every now and again I find myself like an old person staring wistfully at toddlers splashing in the toddler pool, and I think, ‘Oh boy that time was so special! How’d that go so fast?’ But I comfort myself that I did it. We did it. Together. So many adventure outings to the zoo, museums, beach, park. I think the title ‘stay-at-home-mother’ is a bit of a misnomer in the teeny terraces of the inner west. I was definitely an ‘out-of-home-mother’. Every day we would get out and go places. I remember my middle daughter looking at me one time when I was really tired after an outing with friends and she said, ‘Oh, sometimes I’m so tired mum, I go upstairs and scream into my pillow.’ That made me laugh and also listen out for the breaking point. Sometimes we do too much. 

That’s the most important bit. We’re there for them.

I experienced a particularly rough time over the last couple of years, and I found myself sitting in the lounge room staring at this family photo of my kids. My husband has his arm around me, and I am in the middle of this photo, and we’re all wearing nice clothes and looking our best. And whilst my own problems seemed quite large at the time and I was quite focussed on them, I thought, ‘I am at the centre of this photo. We are to those three young people a whole world. They are depending on me loving their father and showing up as their mother every day. Don’t forget that’s your prime job. You’ve been placed here with these people for this purpose.’

I’ve had lots of different jobs in life, I’ve been a surf life saver, I’ve been a music tutor, I’ve been a singer, I’ve been an actor, I worked at Sportsgirl, I worked in a hotel, I’ve worked in PR, I’ve written articles for the newspaper, I’ve been on television, I’ve been a teacher, I’ve been a team leader, I’ve been a speaker. Guess what? Being a mother still rates as the career high of my life. You know why? Because this stuff lasts for eternity.

Being a mother still rates as the career high of my life. You know why? Because this stuff lasts for eternity.

You have a window of time, and you never get it back again.

I’m so grateful all the pieces of the puzzle were there to experience motherhood. Especially that influential Christian friend, still going and one of my best, that positively steered the course of my life.

When I pushed my youngest into the world the epidural didn’t work so I felt it all. Apparently, I screamed, ‘I am never doing that again!’ Immediately followed by the unbelievable rush of hormones, that made me feel there was nothing in the world I couldn’t do. We made this beautiful human with the Lord’s help. There’s no more creative, extraordinary thing to be a part of. And that was just the beginning. Just the first moments of life. The rest is a journey with plenty of labour pains that I cannot imagine walking without Christ. Without Christ we are hopelessly lost. And with Him we have everything we need, for this world and the next. It’s a privilege to get to share Jesus with our kids.

Without Christ we are hopelessly lost. And with Him we have everything we need, for this world and the next. It’s a privilege to get to share Jesus with our kids.

9. Is there anything else you’d like to share about motherhood?

Now my babies are nearly grown. I’ve seen my middle daughter swim kilometres across the ocean in a surf race from Bronte to Bondi – a distance I don’t think I could manage. I’ve seen her sing solos on stage and been absolutely flawed by the beautiful voice coming out of her mouth and the confidence to take the stage.

I’ve seen my son play basketball on a Friday night and shoot hoop after hoop even though he is one of the shortest on the team.

I had a dad stop me on the beach and say thank you for my daughter Lucy and all she is doing to care for their child with special needs. That she is so kind. That brought tears to my eyes.

It’s lovely to see them do new grown things and face the world as these capable people. Sometimes that shocks me. But it shouldn’t. They’ve had heaps of practice, and they’ve come built in with lots of God-given gifts and talents, lots of things to teach me.

Now I get to lean into the rest of my life. The life outside of being a mother, to enjoy work world, hang out with friends and neighbours who don’t have kids, to go to the beach on my own, to spend time with my husband.

I will always be their mum.  I will always love them and be cheering for them. But this is the beginning of a more independent phase. The intense time of caring for little children has passed. ‘Train a child in the way they will go and when they are old they will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6). I pray for all the teenagers I get to hang out with, especially those residing under my roof, to love the Lord with all their heart and mind and soul and strength (Deuteronomy 6:5; Matthew 22:7). It’s a long journey. But He’s with us.