This Father’s Day, we spoke with Rod, a husband, father of young adults, and son caring for his dad through dementia, about what it means to walk faithfully through the many seasons of family life. From parenting to honouring and caring for his own father, Rod shares with us how God’s grace, prayer, and presence have shaped his journey of fatherhood.
1. Can you introduce yourself and tell us a little about your family?
I’m Rod, married to Catherine, who teaches visual arts at a high school, and together we have three young adult children—Grace (21), Sophia (20), and James (17). and we also add Jaydee (23), who lived with us through high school and university before returning recently to the Solomon Islands. With two at university, one completing the HSC, and another navigating post-study life, our home is constantly changing.
I had the blessing of being raised in a strong Christian family, with a legacy of attending Katoomba Convention since I was a baby. Heading to Easter Convention with family and friends has become a family tradition. Most of my career has been in corporate roles across Asia Pacific, including overseas stints when our children were younger. I’m energised by connecting with people, I persevere through outdoor chores, and am continually grateful and humbled by what God has done and continues to do in our family.
2. What is something God has taught you since you’ve become a parent?
One of the greatest lessons God has taught me as a parent is to get comfortable with not knowing, we are not truly in control. Life does not always go in a straight line and that is certainly true in our parenting journey.
When James was just two years old, Catherine was diagnosed with breast cancer. After undergoing treatment and surgery, she received an all-clear report ten years later. Then, in 2021, we faced the difficult news of a Stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis. Life and parenting don’t pause in these moments—by God’s strength, we’ve tried to navigate these challenges while still looking outward and caring for others. There’s plenty written about how to raise resilient children but sometimes parenting means trusting God when you have no answers for life’s toughest questions, when things just seem unfair.
There’s plenty written about how to raise resilient children but sometimes parenting means trusting God when you have no answers for life’s toughest questions, when things just seem unfair.
Through this journey we have learnt to be faithfully no matter the circumstances. The reality is we cannot control everything our children will face as they move through life and only by placing our trust in Him can we find comfort and rest as a parent.
3. What is something you’ve learned about parenting now that your kids are young adults?
Keep it real. I’ve come to realise that our children notice far more in how we live than in what we say. They watch our actions closely, learning from our authenticity and the way we consistently live out our faith, relationships, and resilience—often more than any advice we offer we care to offer.
Another key lesson is the importance of being present and generous. Catherine and I often joke that as our children become more independent, they somehow need us even more than before. Whether it’s sharing a spontaneous coffee, keeping our home open for dinners, welcoming their friends, or holding on to traditions like family holidays and events, our presence remains a steady anchor. We’re grateful for the role models we’ve had and are continually challenged to be generous with our time and resources and engaged for our kids.
In this season, we’re also learning the art of letting go—trusting our children as they make important decisions about faith, friendships, and vocation. I see that the transition to adulthood is both complex and formative. Although our young adults are more connected to each other through technology than ever, the experience of loneliness and exclusion is a major problem. We are understanding our role as a parent at this stage is to walk alongside them—acknowledging their challenges, resisting the urge to rush in and fix everything, and simply being there.
We are understanding our role as a parent at this stage is to walk alongside them—acknowledging their challenges, resisting the urge to rush in and fix everything, and simply being there.
While we can’t know the precise plans God has for our children, we are called to pray for them, trusting God in every circumstance, and show a love that remains steadfast no matter what.
The big lessons we are learning over time and particularly with young adults is that parenting has nothing to do with control and everything to do with being faithfully present, real, generously supportive and unwavering in our love and Pray more!
4. Tell us about your Dads dementia diagnosis. What does it look like to care for your own father at this stage of his life?
Dad received his official dementia diagnosis in 2014, when he was 77. Even before then, there were signs, moments of forgetfulness, unexpected detours to unfamiliar places, and little lapses that gradually became more frequent. Blessed with an amazing wife (and Mother) my parents faced these early, uncertain years side by side, stepping through those heavy and traumatic early or mild years of Dad knowing he was deteriorating.
When Mum passed away suddenly during the Covid, Dad had entered the difficult middle or moderate stage of dementia. Sadly, he could no longer enjoy their greatest joy praying, being present and engaging in conversations with his growing family and friends. God gifted Dad with a generous heart, sense of humour, kindness and a deep love for others something that never left him during those earlier stages of his decline.
There was a brief period where Dad stayed with us and we tried respite care, but eventually my sister and I made the hard decision to move him into a nearby aged care facility in late 2022. By then, he had lost the ability to care for himself and, most painfully for us, to read the Bible or show interest in the people he had always loved so much. That said in Gods great mercy, he still loved to listen to hymns, was comforted by having the Bible read and smiled widely whenever we reassured him that Jesus loves him. There was still an overwhelming grief inside me not just about his condition, but also about what our children—and Dad himself—would miss: cheering them on at sporting events, sharing in milestones like finishing school or weddings, or offering a quiet word of encouragement at just the right moment.
Now, Dad is in the advanced stage of dementia. At times, he can be agitated and difficult, but every so often that gentle, kind man emerges again sharing a few inaudible words, offering a familiar smile, a quite “yes” after a short prayer or giving us that look as we hold his hand that says he just might recognise us, before he turns back to his beloved bowl of vanilla ice cream. In those moments, I’m reassured he’s still there with us.
The journey of caring for unwell and aging parents is a lonely one. It can have periods of great intensity and be highly unpredictable. There are days when I wrestle deeply with God’s plan, question what He’s trying to teach me through the daily routine of my sister and I visiting. Sometimes it feels like obligation, and hope can seem especially hard to find but I’m reminded of the example I need to set as a parent and the way he led an unselfish life dedicated to family.
But amid these questions, I draw comfort from knowing my father’s faith is secure—not because of anything he must do, but because of what God has already done for him. God’s grace and mercy embrace Dad and have sustained him throughout his life, transcending even this cruel disease. I know, one day, he will be made new again.
God’s grace and mercy embrace Dad and have sustained him throughout his life, transcending even this cruel disease. I know, one day, he will be made new again.
I won’t pretend it’s easy. There are still weeks when visiting is simply hard—when I ache for the father I could talk with, ask advice from or seek wisdom about raising young adults of my own. Yet through it all, I cling to the knowledge that God remains faithful, and His love carries us through every season, no matter how broken or uncertain.
Yet through it all, I cling to the knowledge that God remains faithful, and His love carries us through every season, no matter how broken or uncertain.
5. How has this dual role raising adult children while caring for an aging parent, shaped your view of fatherhood and family?
Navigating the path of being both a parent to adult children and a caregiver to my aging father has profoundly sharpened my understanding of what a father really is, the love of our eternal Father and the importance of maintaining a family connectedness.
Supporting our children through young adulthood is a balancing act—celebrating their milestones, respecting their independence, and offering guidance without overstepping. This stage calls for letting go yet remaining present to help them navigate big questions about faith, relationships, and their future.
At the same time, caring for my father as he journeys deeper into dementia has given me a new perspective on vulnerability, gratitude, and legacy. Dad’s presence prompts me to consider the lessons he might have offered if words were still possible. I often imagine his advice would echo the sentiment: “Son…only the things done for Him will last.” It really forms the true North when navigating the complexities of young adults.
Dad’s decline has highlighted just how precious—and fleeting—our roles as carers and parents truly are. It’s taught me that health, family, and the ability to care for one another are profound gifts. This unique season, standing in the middle of generations, has prompted me to more intentionally invest in my children’s lives and those around them, distilling life’s meaning to its essence: loving God and loving others. Above all, it’s a reminder that God never intended us to parent alone, but to trust in His ongoing provision and grace.
This unique season, standing in the middle of generations, has prompted me to more intentionally invest in my children’s lives and those around them, distilling life’s meaning to its essence: loving God and loving others. Above all, it’s a reminder that God never intended us to parent alone, but to trust in His ongoing provision and grace.
This current dual role is teaching me the importance of being real and honest about struggles and acknowledging that behind every family’s “everything’s fine” facade, there are real challenges and deeper stories.
Fatherhood, for me, is about walking faithfully in each season—striving to leave a spiritual legacy for my children and nurturing a family life centred on what truly matters to our Heavenly Father.
6. How has this season grown your faith or changed the way you pray? Or how has it changed through the seasons?
This season of caring for Dad has deepened and refined my faith and made me more aware of the importance of prayer. I often remember how Dad and Mum faithfully prayed for each of us and for every grandchild daily. Their example reminds me that prayer is the strongest tool we have as parents. It’s through honest, sometimes raw conversations with God that I find strength and perspective.
This season has taught me to trust more fully in God’s sovereignty, acknowledging that I can’t control Dad’s condition, direct the future for our children, or secure what the world may see as perfect outcomes for our family. Yet, I find comfort in knowing God’s plans are perfect, even when my understanding falters. My prayers have shifted from asking for specific outcomes to seeking peace and wisdom to navigate whatever path lies ahead.
My prayers have shifted from asking for specific outcomes to seeking peace and wisdom to navigate whatever path lies ahead.
When my children were younger, much of my faith journey seemed more about doing and may have “looked ok”, all involved and attending church and devotions after dinner all good things but God is teaching me to be more intentional in nurturing what truly matters: my own heart and investing deeply in the hearts of those God has entrusted to me. While we are blessed that all our children love Jesus deeply and are walking with Him, we know life doesn’t always go in a straight line and the necessity of prayer.
When our children were younger, much of my faith journey revolved around being busy, being involved, attending church, and sharing devotions after dinner… often doing it with them . These are all valuable, but lately God has been showing me the peace that comes from tending to my own heart and being truly intentional in nurturing the hearts of those entrusted to me. Though we are grateful that all our children love Jesus and are walking closely with Him, I recognise that life’s path is rarely a straight one . Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,” serves as a meaningful verse when offering prayers for our adult children navigating life.
7. Any encouragement or words of wisdom for other Dads out there?
Stay strong. Your mental wellbeing is vital, not only for yourself but for your entire family. The challenges and pressures of fatherhood and life can feel overwhelming, I understand because I’ve walked that path. Remember, there is no perfect formula for being a “good dad”. Fatherhood is a journey—one that God lovingly guides each step of the way. Surround yourself with other dads and Christian role models, whether through a small group or friends. Be open, be authentic, and don’t hesitate to carve out time for your own renewal when you need it.
Remember, there is no perfect formula for being a “good dad”. Fatherhood is a journey—one that God lovingly guides each step of the way.
Stay engaged and present. No matter where you are in your fatherhood journey, it’s never too late to build deeper connections with your kids. Our presence means more to our children than we may ever realise, especially as they grow into young adults.
Most importantly, we’re not alone. Remember to get comfortable with not knowing and rely on our true Father who cares about our children and our families so very deeply. Ask God to reveal fresh ways to trust Him as you keep moving forward, confident that every small act of faithfulness truly matters.
Ask God to reveal fresh ways to trust Him as you keep moving forward, confident that every small act of faithfulness truly matters.
