Ahead of Father’s Day (Sunday 1st September), we’ll be sharing stories of everyday Christian fathers and how the gospel shapes their parenting. In the first of the series, Joshua Fernandez shares the joys and challenges of fathering a high-energy toddler, how he strives to model God’s character as a Christian dad, and learning to balance family duties with work in a male-dominated Trades Industry. We hope you are encouraged by his story!
- Hi Josh! Please introduce yourself!
My name is Joshua Fernandez, and I am the husband of Katherine and father to Leon. I attend Fellowship Baptist Church in Lalor Park and have been there since I was 6 years old. My trade is a Security Technician, where I provide security and access to commercial and residential buildings through CCTV cameras, automatic doors, FOB access, alarms, etc. My hobbies include exercising, watching anime, playing video games, and throwing my son around the room because he enjoys flying and being upside down.
- What has been your greatest joy and challenge in being a new father so far?
The greatest joy and challenge so far in being a new father is the shaping and moulding of the character of my son. It’s the greatest joy seeing Leon grow and learn new things, discovering his likes and dislikes, figuring out the limitations of his current physicality, and trying to understand where his “off” button is because he seems to have endless energy. The challenge is keeping up with his endless energy, keeping calm when he has a tantrum, and trying to feed him when he’s hungry but also doesn’t want to eat at the same time, just to name a few.
Finding balance when it comes to providing material things is another challenge. Growing up in an Asian and financially strict household has caused me to just buy the things my son wants (namely Monster Truck and Hot Wheels). It’s my way of making up for the things I missed out on when I was younger. There’s no greater feeling than making your child happy and seeing him fall asleep in the pram, holding a Hot Wheel car. The other side of that coin is also the challenge of making sure Leon understands that life isn’t always going to go the way you want it to. We aren’t going to be happy all the time, and we aren’t always going to get a Hot Wheel every time we ask for one.
- How does knowing God, the perfect Father shape the way you parent your son?
My goal as a father, and obligation as a God-fearing man, is to emulate God the Father and his character so that Leon might see God in me. In doing so, I hope he can look to do the same for his life, as he grows to understand God and Christianity.
We, as sinners, can’t live to the standards of God all the time but we can continually and daily strive to live as God wants us to live. So, I daily strive to show God’s love, patience, and understanding, so that Leon may grow up knowing and understanding the right way to live, as well as who God is, and His position in my life. By showing my own failings and weaknesses to Leon and helping him understand why Papa still gets mad and makes mistakes, I can put God and His characteristics as the highest and perfect standard for Leon to strive for.
- You work in a male-dominated Trades Industry that isn’t always friendly towards fathers who want to prioritise home duties. Can you share examples of how you have tried to be a witness in this culture?
I have been blessed and fortunate to not have experienced too much of this firsthand. There is only one instance where I was guilt tripped into coming back to work right after my son had just been born, but it ended as a non-hostile conversation, and it ended with me going on parental leave 2 weeks earlier than the dates I had applied for. My current co-workers are all about family, so it’s been easy to prioritise home and family before work, without being degraded for it.
As a Tradie, I make an effort to continue putting my family first, despite work and the deadlines that come with it. By putting family first, I can show those around me that life is more than just work, but a means God gives to us to provide for our families and to exercise creativity, practicality and problem solving outside of family.
- If you could share one piece of advice to new fathers this Father’s Day what would it be?
The one piece of advice I can share would be to be more proactive within the home, help your wife out where you can and be mindful of how your wife and children are feeling. Doing the little things count. Washing baby bottles, folding laundry, loading and starting the dishwasher, preparing dinner. All these things help even if only a little bit.
Don’t get me wrong – you can make time for yourself and your hobbies, but don’t let your time come before your wife and child’s needs. There will be difficult days where it seems like everything you do is for everyone but yourself, but your wife will appreciate all that you do, and your children will see how present their father is.
Our duty as fathers isn’t just to physically provide for our families but to provide, sustain, and nurture the mental and spiritual aspects of our families. With God’s grace and strength, we have the ability to do these things and more.
